The tale begins with CAPTAIN HORATIO T. MARSH'S, ship stilled by a cracked mast. MILO "The Falcon" returns with intelligence that the pirate killer, SIMON MCQUILLEN and the HMS Ranger are nearby.
McQuillen seizes the moment and sinks "The Falcon" and takes the crew to Port Royal prison, except Marsh and his trusty sidekick-gunner, hook-handed, TINSLEY, the narrator.
By the grace of God, Marsh and Tinsley, take a derelict dinghy and with the stream make their way to Port Royal.
Whilst taking ale at the tavern, a fierce pirate, hauls a beautiful Chinese slave girl in and auctions her off. BO is hot. Bo is in chains. Bo is defiant. The winning bidder unshackles her and unleashes a KUNG-FU maelstrom. Bo reluctantly joins Marsh and Tinsley.
Marsh, Bo and Tinsley come to the square where PIKE captivates a surly crowd with his UFC prowess. He dispatches all comers in a "Slamdown" worth 100 doubloons in prize money. SANNY the streetwise runaway slave works the crowd as he makes book on the outcome.
Marsh wins by a fluke and Pike pledges loyalty. Now with Pike's muscle, Marsh hatches a plan to free the crew and take over The HMS Ranger. They swarm the jail in a no holds barred exhibition of mayhem, freeing the "men," and IRISH LILLY. Marsh has no idea that whom he thinks is a man, is really a woman. Bo gives Lilly a visual once over, and knows the truth.
Now with a fighting crew in hand, they surprise the Ranger crew and Marsh gives them the choice of sailing with him or swimming for their lives.
Marsh sets sail for fertile shipping lanes in search of a plump Spanish galleon ripe for the picking.
ANTONIO DIEGO DE LA VEGA, former treasurer of Cartagena, aboard the San Jose, languishes in the brig on his way to face the music on charges of embezzling from the treasury of Cartagena, Columbia.
Tinsley cripples the galleon with a well-placed shot.
After a frenzied boarding, Diego makes an offer. "I can take you to treasure of beyond your wildest dreams to gold and silver, far greater than the treasury of your own King.
They set a course for Cartagena,
COMMANDANTE CHAVEZ, a paranoid, egomaniacal dwarf rules Cartagena with an iron fist.
They learn first hand of Chavez's tyranny when Sanny is swept up and imprisoned for looking at the commandante during a parade. Then Marsh, Diego and Tinsley are given up by Diego's lover, the beautifully voracious AMELIA. Nothing's going right. The rest of the raiding party, think party is the operative word and wait on Marsh in the local tavern.
Ultimately, they raid the treasury and put Chavez out of work bringing down his regime.
Writers: Robert Cole